Daily Chuckle

I saw this post on another blog and had to share it. It's a must read for all moms (and dads) out there!
This made me laugh.


Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!
by Brenna Gray Foster on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 7:00am

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Embrace the Camera

Me and my main man!

Caught in the act

Here is the evidence:

He loves to pull everything out of any drawer, cabinet, basket, or shelf. If he's not suppose to have it, then he wants it.

Thanks to my momma for taking all these pictures. She loves to document his days for me while I'm working :).

Embrace the Camera

My friend, Jane, is "embracing the camera" and I'm joining her. Techincally, you are suppose to do this on Thursday's, but I'm one day late (too tired to blog last night...plus American Idol was on! - how beautiful is Jenny from the Block!)

Too many pictures are taken without the "mom" in the photo. Mom is usually the one taking the picture. On Thursday's, take a picture of yourself with someone and put it on your blog!

Me and my bub before I was leaving for work

Emily started this idea:
Here are the rules in Emily's own words:

1. take a picture with you and your kids/spouse/family member/friend/whatever.
2. blog about that picture and include a link to our blog, or grab our button.
3. link your blog post up on mr. linky below.
4. visit the other embracers...give each other lots of compliments about how good we look with our greasy hair and sweatpants velour jogging suits on. cause yah, we need a little boost when it's been days since our last shower.
5. have fun!

275

 275 days you have been in our lives

and ohhhh how it has changed

you are a gift from god in every way possible

we love you more than words can say

looking forward to the next 9 months with you

here's what's up in your world:

• you love to be on the move...sittin' still is not apart of your daily life (sounds like mama)
• you love jack and are starting to play games with him each day 
• you love nana and get super excited when you see her...she loves you, too
• kiwi has become a fan favorite - so has yogurt - but rice cereal is your #1 choice
• no one can eat in front of you because you want whatever it is we have
• you love to babble all day long. you haven't said a clear "mama" or "dada" but whoever "baba" is must be really happy
• you wear size 6-9 month clothing
• estimated weight about 17 lbs
• only 2 bottom teeth so far
• you can sleep soundly in your crib from 7 pm - 8 am with one feeding around 3 or 4 am
• everything you're not suppose to have, you want
• you are the cutest, happiest baby all the time. your smile melts many hearts

Laughing

Knees. And Love.

For some reason you've decided to get up on your knees now to move! For 2 months you pulled yourself very efficiently to get to anything and everything you weren't suppose to have. But hey, I'm not complaining, because maybe now you won't get as dirty!

Ran to get you some new pj's (you've seem to have outgrown yours!) and walked in to this:

You're so frisky now, we can barely dress you.

Here you are showing Jack your golf ball...telling him one day how you'll be a great player!

 Eating the golf ball:



Excitement

I've got 3 new followers on my blog!!  I get very excited when I see someone new added. However, I KNOW more people read this thing...hello mom and dad?? Where are you?

Cooper woke up this morning the same way he usually wakes up. Going "AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW" as loud as he can!  If you were at the neighbors house, you could probably hear him he's so loud!

We walked downstairs to look at the beautiful snow that will probably keep me trapped in the house on this Saturday. (Dang...I was gonna go to that estate sale with Erin).

We've had more snow in Coop's first year of life than I can ever remember in East Tennessee. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE the extra days off work, letting Jack play with the neighborhood kids, making snow cream like my momma used to do for us, and being lazy! But I'm officially over the cold and the snow.

I know, I know, it's only January, but I'm ready for summer.

I'm ready to pull Cooper to the pool in his new wagon.

I'm ready to get a tan.

I'm ready to actually be warm.

But for now, I will enjoy this sweet thing:

2011

I hadn't thought of a New Year's resolution yet. (Who has time to actually think these days?) Then a sweet friend came over with her precious little baby girl Adeline (love that name!) and we started talking blogging. She has a blog and has vowed to start updating....her posts are usually pretty inspirational to me so I hope she continues.

I was telling her that I think of my blog as a scrapbook for Cooper and his own family to look at one day (when he's married and gives me lots of grandkids!). And then I got to thinking how I never blog. A few times a month in not enough to capture what's going on in his life.

So, my resolution is to blog TWICE a week. And to share with you stories from other blogs I find.

That's 104 blog entries I have a head of me...

And this is #1.

So follow me...there's a tab you can click on my blog if you want to be an official "follower". Lots of you tell me you read this, but I only have 4 followers!! Let's get that number up people!! 

Hope I can come through with my resolution this year!